We hear about daunting guest lists and never-ending reception seating chart debates, but what about wedding tradition worry? It’s honestly the wedding planning stressor no one talks about – the compete misery that follows worrying about traditions.
When making a logistical wedding planning decision; like, ceremony processional order, do you ever finish a thought by asking, is that what people do? If yes, then I would encourage you to rethink your wedding planning approach; kind of like the core values of your wedding. Who are you planning for? What pillars of the wedding are most important to you & your partner?
Do those questions seem silly & too philosophical? You wouldn’t believe the distress some couples experience when going down the rabbit hole of wedding tradition worry. Couples think they have to stick to certain traditions to keep the wedding ‘legitimate’ or as to not throw off their wedding guests.
I don't think you can ever be too connected to your wedding vision. You can never be too in-tune with your core values and your wedding essence.
So, to all the couples out there with wedding tradition uncertainty; to all of the brides worrying who is going to walk them down the aisle; to the grooms who really aren’t into cake cutting, I say, f#$* tradition!
Here are some ways I've seen couples find freedom in developing new traditions that are quite untraditional:
A bride’s father had passed away years before the wedding, and she was worried who would walk her down the aisle. No one needs to feel that pressure when they’re already dealing with the loss of a parent. She ended up walking down the aisle with her fiancé, feeling completely loved & supported.
First looks don’t always have to be bride-centered. A groom felt lots of excitement around his wedding day outfit and wanted to keep it a secret until the big day as well. Their first look ended up being a mutual surprise of wardrobe loveliness.
Something as simple as ceremony seating can knock out a tradition that many couples worry over. Wrap the ceremony chairs completely around the alter if it feels more authentic and intimate, because sometimes couples feel a bit too basic with the traditional ceremony seating (add in the stress of ‘bride’s side’ & ‘groom’s side’).
Unity symbols can really stress out couples, especially the last month or two before the wedding day. More often than not, couples buy unity candles to light because that's what they think you're 'supposed' to do. I had grooms take a unity shot as a symbol of their covenant, and just ‘cause they love whiskey!
If you're fortunate enough to have a living grandmother that you're close with, send her down the aisle (before you) with some flower petals to toss. In lieu of a flower girl, this can resinate more with your family dynamic or help convey some of your core values.